An intern said she liked how I explained something when her edit went wrong. I made a joke about our extensive disaster curriculum and moved on, but I've been carrying the compliment around all day like an idiot with a helium balloon. I remember how small I felt asking basic questions when I started. It's good that she didn't feel that way with me. Then I managed to get irritated with my partner for asking what time I'd be home, as if she had personally invented the schedule. Apologized in a text, not my best medium but currently our main one. She sent back a picture of the plant I forgot to water. Fair, though unrelated.

I keep composing improved versions of a conversation that already went fine. Nobody was angry, nobody misunderstood the question, yet on the train I found a cleaner way to phrase it and immediately wished I could replace the original. This is useful when there is an actual audio file to edit. Less useful when my sister has simply asked what we're doing Saturday. I can hear myself turning a normal answer into a polished answer and wonder who the audience is supposed to be. Probably me, the least satisfied listener we have. Wrote Saturday dinner in the calendar. No alternate wording needed. Then checked whether I'd put the right time.

6:20. Went running without a podcast because my headphones were dead, a technical failure my entire personality considered a personal attack. For the first block all I could hear was my own breathing, which seemed unnecessarily loud. Then I stopped trying to run at the speed I imagine a person who runs should maintain and things got less awful. Cool air on my arms, warm chest, feet landing without commentary in my ears. Got home hungry, an actual stomach request separate from the usual coffee situation. Ate while my partner was getting ready for bed. I was still sweaty enough that she declined the hug until after the shower.